Phoenix Rose Astrology

The upcoming Venus retrograde throws light on your relationship with yourself. It is often said that to truly love others you first need to love yourself. Seems easy, yet living in a world that deals harshly with mistakes and requires success as a measure of merit, being truly happy with who you are can be a difficult thing.

Firstly, you actually need to know yourself. Who has the time? We are constantly adjusting as we meet new experiences and are shaped by the people and events that cross our path. Are you the same person as you were in high school? Last year? Have you asked yourself what is different? These unconscious shifts mean it is important to keep in touch with yourself and your unconscious drives, otherwise they tend to take the driving seat and leave you as a passenger, saying “Why did we take that turn?” This upcoming Venus retrograde offers the perfect chance to stop and build that relationship with yourself again.

Venus is usually all about relationships and relating to the world around you, so when she shifts backwards her focus turns inwards, into your hidden world. Humans are complex beings, made up of many parts, and they all grow and evolve as you do. As in any group, not all parts want the same things and some will voice their needs or desires more loudly, even if they are not necessarily more important.

In my life, I often push myself to do things, and do them perfectly, driven by parts instilled through my early years. Then, when pushed too far, I procrastinate, unable to find the energy or the drive to do the things that really are important for me. Unless I consciously choose to make an effort to get to know all parts of myself on a regular basis and understand all of their needs, I will be forever in that cycle. Running on the spot. Going nowhere fast.

So, how do you reconnect with yourself? I like to think of it as big Self and little selves, like Snow White and her seven dwarves. Big Self is the core you, the one who sits back and listens to all the voices of the little selves are going around and around. You know, when you lie in bed at night and there is an argument going on in your head and you just wish they would all quieten down? This Self is who you want to know and understand, the one connected to your spirit, to your true purpose. If you don’t connect with this Self it becomes like Snow White, a servant to all the little selves and their every whim. Or perhaps it has fallen into a deep sleep and you need to take the role of the prince coming to give the metaphorical kiss of life.

As in life, there are countless ways to administer that kiss but you need to make sure it fits the situation to have the best affect. So yes, meditation is one way to examine our parts from a distance, but Venus in Gemini calls for writing it down or even better, talking to yourself out loud. I know it seems crazy, and you may look a little crazy doing it, but when thoughts bounce around in your head without expression only certain parts of you are involved. If you say it out loud, or write it down, then every part of you can hear your thoughts and your needs. Then these different parts have the chance to align behind your conscious choices rather than pulling you in so many different directions that you end up going nowhere.

From here, as you spend more time building your relationship with yourSelf the road to self-respect opens through self-understanding. You can suddenly see that each voice is just one small part of yourself that doesn’t reflect who you are and doesn’t need to drive your choices. Instead just say “Oh, there goes that part again, wanting what it wants” and then go on doing what you know is the right thing to do, for yourSelf. It may even help you to give names to those parts, like Perfectionist, Critic and my personal favourite, the Crazy Woman. No need for self-judgement, self-blame, no harsh critic. Instead acceptance, understanding, and self-compassion take their place. The relief that comes with that is immense and freeing, allowing you to climb back into the driver’s seat and get yourself together to start moving towards your true purpose. Now that’s a happily ever after, and what can be more Venus than that?!

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